Ignoring the Obvious
Okay, so i haven't exactly "posted recently." Sux to your ass-mar if you don't like it. Rather than try to update the last 6 months, I'll just skip it all and start up here. I may be talking about current events, or I may focus on random thoughts and musical musings! In fact, the latter is the subject of and inspiration for this return-from-exile post.
As many of you may know, I have been searching for the "heaviest metal band in the world." The reason for this is I wanted to know the endpoint of music. The lowest, darkest, craziest point at which a person could conceiveably say, "Okay, I'll release this as music."
It started with my realization that I do, in fact, like Heavy Metal. This in itself surprised me, as I am (as many of you may have suspected) extremely chill and not metal-esque in the least. However, my suspicions were confirmed when last spring I bought and totally rocked out to Metallica--S&M, their live album with the San Francisco Philharmonic. As I continued to explore the glorious skull-vibrating, palm-muted, million-notes-per-minute sonics that is Metallica, I wondered to myself (for I was still too frightened of the idea to verbalize it), "How far can this go?"
How heavy is heavy? How fast is fast? How scary is Death Metal? These are the questions I set out to answer, and o, how I answered them. The first, and most obvious starting point, is Slayer. Obviously Slayer is an eminent metal band, and intimidatingly heavy for a beginner such as myself. However, I was certain that they could not be IT. There had to be something harder than Slayer. I was stuck, however, unable to find worthy contestants until I read an article in Spin magazine about Scandinavian Black Metal... and lo! My the search was moshed into its final stage. This was where I left the realm of "Wow that's fast" for the realm of "Okay, I don't like this game anymore."
This article described the off-stage habits of several Norwegian metal bands, of which Mayhem was one. I won't go into details, but another (earlier) article in Spin pretty much sums up that these guys have been touched pretty hard in the head, and certainly weren't wearing their valkyrie helmets. Mayhem is the real shining star here, as far as off-stage goes...suicide, cannibalism, and arson are standard operating procedures. HOWEVER, this was not a quest for the craziest group of people that play music, this was a search for the heaviest metal around. And for THAT, my friends, we come to MORGOTH.
Named for a Tolkein character (in the Lord of the Rings prequel The Silmarillion), Morgoth is just freaky and disturbing to listen to. Maybe "disturbing" is going to far, but you just feel jittery and upset while listening to it. Though not from Norway, these Germans are pretty much as heavy as it gets.
So I guess it all comes down to how much authenticity you crave. To me, Morgoth's music is the heaviest and scariest I've ever heard, but once you're familiar with the story behind the scenes, Mayhem gets a whole lot worse (or better). The music itself is not particularly faster, harder, heavier, or darker than other Death/Speed metal bands I've heard. However, the back-story leaves no doubt that these are the most Fucked-Up Metal Dudes ever concieved by Mother Earth.
For those of you that have skipped the body of this article and are instead drawn to bulleted lists, look at this instead: it's kinda funny.
Till next time, keep on rockin' in the free world, and keep checking for updates! As for me, I'm gonna go listen to Christian Easy-Listening for about a week, just to even things out.
Peace!
As many of you may know, I have been searching for the "heaviest metal band in the world." The reason for this is I wanted to know the endpoint of music. The lowest, darkest, craziest point at which a person could conceiveably say, "Okay, I'll release this as music."
It started with my realization that I do, in fact, like Heavy Metal. This in itself surprised me, as I am (as many of you may have suspected) extremely chill and not metal-esque in the least. However, my suspicions were confirmed when last spring I bought and totally rocked out to Metallica--S&M, their live album with the San Francisco Philharmonic. As I continued to explore the glorious skull-vibrating, palm-muted, million-notes-per-minute sonics that is Metallica, I wondered to myself (for I was still too frightened of the idea to verbalize it), "How far can this go?"
How heavy is heavy? How fast is fast? How scary is Death Metal? These are the questions I set out to answer, and o, how I answered them. The first, and most obvious starting point, is Slayer. Obviously Slayer is an eminent metal band, and intimidatingly heavy for a beginner such as myself. However, I was certain that they could not be IT. There had to be something harder than Slayer. I was stuck, however, unable to find worthy contestants until I read an article in Spin magazine about Scandinavian Black Metal... and lo! My the search was moshed into its final stage. This was where I left the realm of "Wow that's fast" for the realm of "Okay, I don't like this game anymore."
This article described the off-stage habits of several Norwegian metal bands, of which Mayhem was one. I won't go into details, but another (earlier) article in Spin pretty much sums up that these guys have been touched pretty hard in the head, and certainly weren't wearing their valkyrie helmets. Mayhem is the real shining star here, as far as off-stage goes...suicide, cannibalism, and arson are standard operating procedures. HOWEVER, this was not a quest for the craziest group of people that play music, this was a search for the heaviest metal around. And for THAT, my friends, we come to MORGOTH.
Named for a Tolkein character (in the Lord of the Rings prequel The Silmarillion), Morgoth is just freaky and disturbing to listen to. Maybe "disturbing" is going to far, but you just feel jittery and upset while listening to it. Though not from Norway, these Germans are pretty much as heavy as it gets.
So I guess it all comes down to how much authenticity you crave. To me, Morgoth's music is the heaviest and scariest I've ever heard, but once you're familiar with the story behind the scenes, Mayhem gets a whole lot worse (or better). The music itself is not particularly faster, harder, heavier, or darker than other Death/Speed metal bands I've heard. However, the back-story leaves no doubt that these are the most Fucked-Up Metal Dudes ever concieved by Mother Earth.
For those of you that have skipped the body of this article and are instead drawn to bulleted lists, look at this instead: it's kinda funny.
- Snoop Doggy Dogg - Weed+maybe guns
- Radiohead - Bourbon+"too much weed paranoia"
- Phish - Weed+Fat Tire Ale
- Led Zeppelin - Jack Daniel's
- Metallica - Jolt Cola
- Slayer - Red Bull+homophobia/xenophobia
- Mayhem (before reading this) - Speedball+Punch in the Skull+Creeped-out Feeling
- Morgoth - Incurable Insomnia+Horror film festival+Crystal Meth+Case of Jack Daniel's
- Mayhem (after reading that) - All of the above+Jefferey Dahmer+burning churches
Till next time, keep on rockin' in the free world, and keep checking for updates! As for me, I'm gonna go listen to Christian Easy-Listening for about a week, just to even things out.
Peace!
posted by Nick at 4:31 PM
1 Comments:
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